Radical Notion

Hmmmmmm.

All you have to do is remove things from "the list" in order to experience being exactly who you ARE. You can just redo the list. Maybe you've done all that you need to, learned all that you're going to, gone all the places you should have. Imagine, rewrite the list with all the boxes checked! You are THERE, you are DONE.

How does it feel?
What would that list look like?

Could you then relax and just BE? Take each day as it comes? Move as you are so moved? Moment by moment, confident you are exactly who you are intended to be?

Satisfied.

#43 - Blanks Out Again

It's just not going to happen. And its all good.

#37 - Made good on that scrabble date with Lillian

And we had a wonderful time! I admire this 89 year old woman so much. A thrice married fellow Gemini, she is as energetic and lively as anybody half her age. I had some trepidation about the meeting spot (the coffee house in Ferndale) because I did not realize it was opening day of Rosie O'Grady's and the street scene was on bump! I thought she may have had trouble finding the place (it is a bit obscure) or that parking wouild be a challenge. But no, she beat me there, with her smart white suit and crisp summer straw hat, Scrabble board in tow (she always has it in the trunk, you never know when a Scrabble opportunity might present itself!!) A. met us there and we had a delightful time over soup, sandwiches, and coffee. Oddly, a woman who was there kept looking at us and looking at us. She finally came on over and said she admired our relationship and how good we looked, and she was moved to come over because her 100 year old mom was sick and she was very worried abotu her. She thought Lillian and I were mother and daughter. Lillian expalined that no, we are friends! and I added that we used to work together and were also both Geminis. Well, this woman was a Gemini too!! We had a good laugh and shared some philosophical insights on everything from men to politics. I will be sending her some Social Fourum information, she was/is an activist as well...

Anyway, we played until 10:30 pm!! It was a great, high scoring game, the likes of which I have not been able to repeat with M. (But he cheats...) We walked Lillian to her car and bid farewell. I hope to do it again soon, but feel really good that I made good on that promise finally!!

Update of Sorts

Have been out of the loop for quite some time now...my computer crashed and burned, don't know if I'll be able to retrieve the stuff off of my hard drive or that "favorites" list I had so painstakingly compiled. Oh well, I'll try making the most of a fresh start. Fresh starts and reboots, all the way around. I have fallen by the wayside, backslidden, relapsed, got off of the wagon...anyway you want to slice it, I have moved away from the Who I Was in April. Allowed myself to get distracted in an unhealthy way. So, I am starting over with the vices, disentangling endless mind loops that are stuck on stupid. Thankful for another chance, that there was one more wish stuck in the bottom of the genie lamp. I'm experiencing one of those painful growth spurts but know that it is necessary and that I will come out on the other side as a better person. Reevaluting myself and the people I allow into my circle, acknowleding the need to move inward, revisit boundaries and the spiritual goals I am wanting to set. Taking the word "friendship" and holding it up to the actual thing and seeing if they even remotely resemble each other, does one fit the other? And does that definition work for me:? Too many times, friendship has been closely linked to dissappointment. And I know those that you care about will manage to dissappoint you and hurt you, some of that pain is self inflicted because you bypassed or ignored your screening process, boundaries, experience, and intuition in the formation of that relationship. Sometimes going backwards is progress.

#67 Pay Off Car - Goes to Black!!

Yep, the cute-a-bug is mine! I jsut have to get the title from the Secretary of State and take it for them to release themeselves as the lienholder! yAY! Frees up some cash too although I have already spent this month's "free up" at The Little Black Dress...gotta stay up outta that store! :)

#34 Reading my own books

This won't count toward the overall 20 because it is a re-read. Still...

Seraph on the Suwanee by Zora Neale Hurston

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a re-read for me, I wanted to find the present day slang that is used in this 1940's book about the early 1900's. Its interesting to me the way sayings such as "fly" and "hitting a lick" have survived. The book itself is enjoyable, but I found Arvay to be SO frustrating in her insecurities, but, I could understand where she was coming from and how, a lot of times our ignorance will cause us to cut off our noses to spite our faces. I appreciated this exploration of communication, and how it can go awry. I wonder what it takes to effectively communicate? One of THE hardest tasks!!! Although it's a love story with deep roots, there is a thread of violence interwoven with religion, power, and poverty. An enjoyably complex book that I will re-read again.


View all my reviews.

#70 - Graduate!!!

Holla if you hear me!!! I did it, I did it, I did it! I can hardly believe it! To be able to check getting my BFA off of "The List" is tremendous and it really has me thinking about this list and my bucket list and how all of these things are possible and doable and it doesn't matter how much time it takes, slow and steady wins the race! I can accomplish all that I set my mind to! This has been soooooooo long in coming, a lot had to do with allowing myself to be distracted, other things life just had in the cards and had to be dealt with. This feels like a new 21, a new grown and sexy. Time to marinate on this accomplishment a bit, but, more importantly, what is the next step? I feel like a samuri warrior with a sword that can cut through the fog and the bullshit in order to step into my greatness. This is not about overconfidence, this is manifesting destiny! Stepping forward in a calm and collected version.